Jumat, 01 Januari 2016

Apparently, it's 2016

Yes, today is 2016.

No, I have nothing to do on my day off so I decide to check this blog. Last visit was 2013, so it's been 2 years I've been abandoning this blog. Not that I don't have anything to write, I'm just too lazy to write it down here. 

The reason why I re-visit this blog is not about writing New Year Resolutions or whatever it is. I want to complaint but I don't know to whom I should or what exactly I want to complaint about.

Starting from this morning, it was bright morning after all. The sky was blue, the bluest clearest sky I ever seen. The weather was nice. Everyone looked so happy welcoming this new year. Mom were getting ready to have reunion with her friends. Have I told you that one of my bestie actually asked, "Just how many gangs do your mom have? She seems like having reunion every week!" and I couldn't provide proper answer? Well, that's my mom. Dad was also going out somewhere with his friends. 

Meanwhile, I enjoyed something that I rarely enjoy: the gravity of my bed. Just like any other time, some thoughts popped out in my mind, and after few minutes I had existential crisis. I wanted to scream but nothing came out. Thing I knew for sure was I needed help, but I didn't know what kind of help I actually need. I set my phone in airplane mode, went out, and got more depressed when I looked at the clear blue sky. It was too bright I couldn't handle it. 

After few hours, it stopped.

No, nothing happened. Don't worry, I'm safe.

Having existential crisis is not something unsual for me, but today it made me going mad. And made me (almost) being self-destructive.

Until I write this blog, I still have no idea what should I do. The only thing I know for sure is I'm okay for now and I won't do any harm.

I guess this is my first post in 2016. Not bright enough to start your year, so don't read it. Ups, you've done it. Can't help,

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